After you have a baby you tend to get given lots of gifts. While flowers, teddies, chocolates and clothes for the baby are all lovely and very much appreciated, I think there are some things that would be much better gifts for new mums. Here’s my list of what I think are the most important/nicest things you can do for a new mother:
- Offer to wash up or clean. Seriously. If you can help on this front without offending someone, do. I would have been so happy if someone had offered to hoover my house! Even if you just wash a few dishes or take the bins out I am sure the new parents will be eternally grateful.
It’s hard to find time to clean with a newborn.
- Take food. If you’re going to visit, it should be obligatory to take sustenance. It’s up to you whether that’s snacky junk food or actual meals, but bring something. Cooking is not usually high up on the priority list when your world has just been turned upside down by a newborn but you gotsta eat!
- Give her a cushion to sit on. Without going into gory details I was sat on a cushion for at least two weeks after birth. And mine was by no means one of the worst. Helping a new mum feel comfortable is one of the best things you can do as a friend or family member.
- If she’s breastfeeding bring Lansinoh and breastpads – the holy grail for breast feeders. You can spend a lot of money on those so receiving them as gifts is brilliant!
Vital supplies for a breastfeeding mum!
- If her partner has gone back to work or she’s on her own, look after the baby while she has a shower. She’ll be overwhelmed with gratitude!
- Make sure she has something good to watch on telly because the main things a newborn needs are cuddles and milk, and she’s likely to be sitting down a lot during those first weeks. Looking at your baby is wonderful and entertaining but not for twelve hours a day.
- Offer encouragement and support. Sometimes those first days are scary and lonely. Tell her she’s doing great, she looks lovely and the baby is perfect. If she’s breastfeeding but nervous about doing it in public, go with her to support her. If she wants some help on her first trip out alone with the baby, be there.
- Here’s the thing all parents are most in need of: sleep. But you might not be able to help with that one. If you can let a new mum have a nap that would be the greatest gift of all!
What else would you say is helpful for those early days?
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How about helping to fold laundry? There’s always an abundance of it with a baby in the house and folding all those teeny, tiny sleep suits and baby grows is soul destroying! X
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Of course! How could I forget that?! Endless loads of washing and folding laundry are the bane of my life. Thanks for reading, Ellen
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I wish I could have printed this off an posted it to all my friends after our second baby! Great post thanks #FamilyFun x
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Haha I imagine it’s worse second time round as you already have everything you need for the baby. When(if!) we have another I think I will have a no-food/no-entry policy!! Thanks for reading, Ellen
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Such a great idea. I loved it when some friends came who made me the cuppa and said go for a shower or asked do you have washing? Practical help but if someone had said go to bed I’d have been over the moon!!! TY for linking up with #FamilyFun 🌸
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Being able to go to bed would definitely be the best! Thanks for having me again and for reading, Ellen x
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Love this! Definitely could have done with all of those things… I will be forwarding this to all my friends for the next baby! #bigpinklink
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Oh thank you!! Glad you like it. I know, next time around I am going to make people bring food haha. Thanks for reading, Ellen
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I think sometimes just a conversation or a gossip about things other than baby poo and what time is the next bottle is amazing !!
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Oh yes that’s a good one! Thanks for reading, Ellen
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What about a food delivery service for the a couple of weeks or 1 month? I actually bought it as a gift before and I wish someone had gifted it to me too. Let’s be honest, no one wants to worry about cooking with a newborn.
#bigpinklink
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That’s such a great idea – what a wonderful gift! I need friends like you haha. Thanks for reading, Ellen
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Nailed it. All I wanted was someone to clean the house or to have a shower. What I didn’t need was to be told how tired I looked! I did love that lots of people bought us clothing gifts in a variety of sizes and the huge nappy cake, you always need a nappy! X
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The clothing was useful! I guess if I have a second one it will be even less so, so I would be more likely to want something else, haha. I never actually got a nappy cake but nappies are a great gift. Oh being told how tired you look is awful – ‘I KNOW! I am bloody tired!’ I lost loads of blood in birth too so I was deathly pale for the first week or so too – not great! Thanks for reading, Ellen
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Those first few weeks are scary and lonely! It was nice I had my mum around quite a bit. She helped me organise the house as even though I carried him for 9 months I totally wasn’t prepared!! It was 2 months in when I got a load more independent that I got annoyed with her for helping! I don’t know why, I had planned that washing up in! Come spend time with your grandson!! Lol, can’t win hey!?
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I don’t think anyone is ever prepared! That’s nice that you had help from your mum. Families are the best! Thanks for reading my lovely. Ellen X
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I think you have hit the nail on the head with this! It was me down to the cushion!! Food is the biggy, maybe offer to pop to the supermarket for her on your way there, or to be there when the online shop arrives to help put it away. Those kind of things are so tiny but can make a massive difference to an exhausted new mum. Your sleep thief is just gorgeous. Thanks for linking! #bigpinklink
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Haha that cushion was a lifesaver. Ah bless him he was so tiny then! Crazy how much he has changed already. Definitely, it’s the little things that count for sure. Thanks for having me again and for reading! Ellen
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Hold the baby while she shower and bring food – two of the BEST tips!
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Definitely- loved it when people did that! Thanks for reading, Ellen
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Love this post. People who came to visit but didn’t actually lift a finger to help really irirritated me. Friends without kids would come and wait for me to offer them a cuppa; they were lucky if I even had any milk in, unless they wanted it out of my boobs lol!! Mind you, pre-kids, I was just as useless. Your list needs to be shared with child-free friends of pregnant mamas!
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Haha I know, I keep thinking back and realising I was crap!! Oh well hopefully someone will take tips from this haha. Thanks for reading, Ellen
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I’m gonna share this nearer the time Snappy is due so my family know what we actually need. #bloggerclubuk
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Ah I’m glad you found it useful!! Thanks for reading, Ellen
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I always say a funky thermos travel mug is always good coz it keeps their cuppa warm for longer. I never got a warm cup of tea when my son was younger #CoolMumClub
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Ah that’s a great one!! Good thinking. I’m not a massive hot drinks person so I didn’t think of that. Thanks for reading, Ellen
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Super read! Food, sleep and support… (not necessarily in that order)… wonderful gifts!!!
Nicole
http://talesfrommamaville.wordpress.com
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Thank you! I think they are the vital things. Thanks for reading, Ellen
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Love this list! There are definitely two types of visitors, the ones you want there who are a comfort, support, help…and the other type!!
I would add…space…visitors can be overwhelming when you’re learning how to breastfeed and get to know your baby. take their lead, and their hints!
Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub
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That’s very true – I know a lot of people say they don’t want any visitors for a week or two. We have big families so by the time they’ve all come round (and we would want them to) we might as well go for it and let everyone come! Thanks for having me again xx
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Ahhhh a nap really would be the greatest gift of all, second bringing food, third doing cleaning. It’s nice to bring useful gifts like the breast feeding supplies. Thanks so much for joining us for #bloggerclubuk, hope you will be back again tomorrow! x
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Definitely! I realised I forgot muslins, don’t think you can have enough of those! Thanks for having me again, hopefully I will be back tomorrow. Thanks for reading! Ellen xx
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