Why I want a big family

If I wanted to be succinct (when do I ever want that?) I would say, simply, I want a big family because I come from a big family. I am one of four kids and my partner is one of three. Some of our siblings have partners and had children before us and we all like to drink so family gatherings are always rowdy and busy.Β Really, this post is about how wonderful our families are!

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I’ve always been really close to my family and loved the fact that there are lots of us. My childhood was lovely; there was always someone to watch my stupid plays, play a game with me, hear me sing terribly or listen to me read. I never felt lonely; even though we weren’t together all the time just knowing they are about means you never feel alone. Holidays were great because we would spend days swimming in the sea, walking and playing games together. Christmas was always really exciting – I used to love sleeping on the floor in my older sisters’ room because my Grandad would sleep in my room! And we always made a fuss of birthdays too, we’d all gather in my parent’s room first thing for presents and in the evening there was always singing and cake. We all got together for birthdays almost every time right up until I went to uni (I was the first one to move a significant distance away!) and we still do when we can.

And having siblings has just got better and better as we’ve all become adults. Watching my sister’s kids grow up is so special, seeing my brother play at a festival was amazing and giving my parents their seventh grandchild felt pretty good! Every year we go camping in the summer and whenever we get together there are so many laughs.

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I probably don’t want quite that many children…

I think one of the things that connected B and I so well is the fact that his family are the same; they are very close and have a good time together. The fact that we both understood how incredibly important family is and how lucky we are to have such great people around us seemed to make us closer. We go to B’s nan’s house every week and TM’s older cousins love to fuss over him. We are often getting together for dinners and try to have trips away as a family when we can.

Having a big family, for me, has meant ready-made best friends, drinking buddies, people to tell you when you’re being a twat and plenty of shoulders to cry on. It’s people who love you unconditionally no matter how strange or irritating you are and who you can laugh hysterically with over ridiculous things. Yes, Christmas is bloody expensive and there’s ALWAYS a birthday present to buy but there’s also multiple small people to cuddle, tons of babysitters and a whole clan who hold you up. I really want to add to that and create my own sizeable tribe so, hopefully, my children will always feel they have somebody to enjoy life with and someone to pick them up when they’re down.

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35 thoughts on “Why I want a big family

  1. So different to our situation. Both my Oh and I are essentially only children. I have three step siblings as both my parents remarried people with kids, so I wasn’t completely alone. And my OH has a much younger sister, he was a grown up when she came along and she lives in Australia so we don’t get to see her. So far we only have one boy, but I’m certain I want another. For his sake as much as mine. I think your family sounds lovely and wish you all the luck growing your own tribe of little people #bigpinklink

    Nadia – ScandiMummy x

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  2. I so want a big family too but mainly because I didn’t have one growing up! It was just me and my brother and he had severe disabilities otherwise I think my parents would’ve had more. My partners family though always get together and I absolutely love how close we all are so I’d love it for my own children one day. Thanks for linking to #MarvMondays! Kaye xo

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    1. Ah that’s understandable. It’s lovely that you spend lots of time with your partners family though, it’s so brilliant when you get on with them isn’t it? I always feel a bit guilty when people moan about their in-laws as I got super lucky with mine!!
      Thanks for reading and for having me at #MarvMondays again – hopefully I will become a regular again if I can get my arse in gear haha. Ellen xx

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  3. Oh this is so so lovely to read! What a blessing a big family sounds. I’m an only child and we lived in a different country to all my aunts and uncles and cousins and so it was really just me and my parents most of the time. It was quite lonely, and for that reason I have two children. Any more is scary though! My friend is one of five and has four herself so I think you definitely stick to what you know. She is amazing and copes so well despite having tiny age gaps. I think it’s fab you want to carry on the family tradition and your family gatherings sound so much fun that a few more will only add to it right? Thanks for linking up with us again! #bigpinklink

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    1. Thank you! Oh bless you that must have been quite hard, although a lot of the only children I know have amazing relationships with their parents which is lovely.
      We are very lucky. I definitely think our family motto should be ‘the more the merrier’! We can’t all sit around a table together but who needs to do that?! My sisters both stopped at three kids so I guess that might be what I do too, although four still sounds good to me… I say all this with my one baby!! I will probably have another and change my mind, haha. Thanks for reading and for having me again! Ellen X

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  4. Oh I’m so with you on this – I love family and the network it brings – I’ve got 3 children and more often than not they’ve got friends over so i’m constantly doing headcounts in the morning to see how many people i’ve got for breakfast – it’s chaotic at times but I love it – though 5 minutes tranquility is bliss! A great read lovely #bigpinklink

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    1. Ah thank you Helen! It’s good to hear from someone who’s done it that they love it – most people tell me I am mad and that being outnumbered is a nightmare haha. We shall see what the future brings!! Thanks for reading, Ellen x

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  5. Ahhh such a lovely post! As you know, I’ve got 2 sisters and my husband is the eldest of 3 children too so I can completely relate to this. It’s great to have siblings who love you unconditionally and then as you say watch their children grow too. I think I’d definitely would want more children if I hadn’t started so late!! Thanks for sharing. #MarvMondays xx

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  6. I think people do stick to what you know. Both me and Dave come from a 2 sibling family. We are pretty adament that we’ll be having two too. Unless when trying for number two we end up with twins! I’ve friends that have big families that see each other all the time, it always seems pretty hectic. But it’s nice though isn’t it? x

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    1. I think that’s fair enough, a lot of people tend to have one or two children as its just more practical – house size, cars etc! I think two is nice as lots of people I know with one sibling are super close and literally do everything together.
      Oh yes it’s hectic but in a wonderful way – I love it!! Thanks for reading lovely. Ellen x

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  7. Aw this is lovely – I think a lot of people go for similar experiences to their own. I have one sibling and always saw myself with two children. My husband had older siblings but they were ten+ years older so once they reached the teenage years, he was sort of an only child and he only ever saw himself with one. I managed to convince him that two is nice because it’s lovely to have someone to play with on holidays etc. And now that I am an adult and have my own kids, they absolutely adore my sister and she adores them and I just love watching their relationship blossom πŸ™‚ #passthesauce

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  8. Ah how lovely – it really is special being an auntie or uncle and having those family relationships for your kids too. Hehe I am glad you convinced your husband! Two kids is definitely the preferred option for a lot of families I think as it’s a good balance!
    Thanks for your lovely comments, Ellen

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  9. I’m one of four and loved growing up in our family, always plenty of people around. In contrast husband is one of two and is estranged from his sister so is essentially an only child. I think he sometimes finds my family a bit overwhelming as they are quite loud.

    I have two children and am happy with that, mine benefit from lots of aunts and uncles and a ton of cousins, plus we are now onto second cousins too.

    #bigpinklink

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    1. Ah your family sounds wonderful! I know what you mean though, my siblings and I have all had partners in the past who I think found our family a bit much!! I think if you’re shy or generally quite private it can be difficult coming into a loud, open family. Also I think some people felt pressure as we are so close that they were worried what the family would think of them etc- unnecessarily, as we would always be kind! Anyway, thanks for reading, Ellen.

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  10. I don’t know what it is to be in a big family. We are estranged from my Dad’s family and my mum only has one brother and he has two kids. I have one brother. We were close but are now separated by an ocean. Your idea of family sound ideal and I can understand why you would want your kids to have that experience. TY for linking up to #FamilyFun 🌸

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    1. Oh Catie it must be really hard being away from your brother. Now you have your own lovely family though! I do feel so lucky, I really can’t imagine who I would be without having that support and love all the time. Even going to uni the other end of the country I found hard, pathetic haha! Thanks for reading, Ellen xx

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  11. I love this! My husband and I are the same way. I have 2 sisters and he has 3. My sisters are 9 and 11 years younger than me though so they more taught me a lot about how to care for a young one. I’m so thankful for that, but I really want my kids to be close in age. My husband and his sisters range from 25-21 and they are all really close. I am just now starting to become very close with my sisters now they are a little grown up. I would love to have 3 or 4 children running around. What a great life that would be. I wish you all the best! ❀

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    1. Ahh that’s great. There’s a big gap between me and my eldest sister and she was always very maternal, it was so nice as a child to have another person like that around as well as my mum, and now as adults we are best pals!

      I wish you all the best too, hopefully we both get the lovely big families we want 😊 Thanks for reading, Ellen

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  12. What a gorgeous post! I so know what you are saying. I have a big extended family and I know the warmth and fun each family gathering brings. We all look forward to special events and occasions! Thanks for sharing with #PasstheSauce

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  13. Oh my goodness. You completely describe what I imagine life in a big family is like – your life is EXACTLY what I hope to create for my daughter. Unfortunately, her dad is very against this. He says that she is our ‘first and last’. Your post has now become a weapon in my fight for more babies!

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  14. This is lovely. I want a big family too – I’m one of 4 – but have found two so tiring, not sure my body’s up to it! Maybe after a rest…!

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