This is my less offensive name for shit days. Days when the baby will not be left alone, screams every time you leave the room and generally whinges almost constantly. Days where you find yourself taking deep breaths, often, because you don’t want to shout at your poor child who (no matter how much it may seem that way at the time) is not deliberately trying your patience.
Maybe it’s a day when your toddler is perfecting their tantrum technique, your preschooler is refusing to eat anything that’s not beige, your child has just told you they hate you, your teenager won’t put down their phone to eat their dinner…whatever your family situation is, I think all parents have these days. Days where it’s necessary to count to 10 and take a deep breath before responding to your kids or partner.
These are the days where as soon as their dinner is done you crack open a beer, rummage around for chocolate to eat while you hide in the kitchen and count down how long it is until their bedtime. Days where, no matter how much sleep you have had, you feel so very weary.
This isn’t every day. And even on these days there will be flashes of joy: you hear that giggle or get a smile and cuddle which reminds you of how brilliant your kid is, how special and adorable. You know people tell you to cherish every moment but that isn’t easy when those moments are full of ‘for fuck’s sake why are you crying?’
Real life isn’t like Instagram or Pinterest. We can’t all be our best, every day. You aren’t going to be happy and content all of the time – and more to the point, your kids aren’t going to be calm and well behaved 24/7. You aren’t going to fill every day with crafts and trips to the beach (or if you do, you’re amazing!) – there will be days that will be boring and frustrating and mundane.
Why have I written this post? Just to say that we all have bad days. We all have moments where we lose our shit, say things or act in a way that in our ideal parenthood world we never would. But that doesn’t make us bad parents. It just makes us human. So for those of you taking deep breaths today, you’re not alone and you will come out the other side. Have another glass of wine and start again tomorrow.